Clarity
by donnaspecter
Summary: -"I was in need of being near someone who is stronger than me right now" Donna explained and Jessica nodded "of someone who has even more in stake then me." She added. Jessica exhaled "Donna at this moment there is not really much I can say that would help because I have no idea how to clean up this mess myself."- Darvey (Donna and Harvey) fanfic. Jessica&Donna talk. Enjoy. -A xx


**Hello :) Jessica is beside Donna and Harvey my absolute favorite character on the show and probably ever. There is just something fascinating about her and I never thought I would grow to love and adore her so much. This is exactly why I wanted to do a one shot about her and darvey bc I would love for her to be the one to put them together on the show bc she has always just known about them without having to be explained a thing!**

 **Anyway, I hope you enjoy reading this. This is placed in the middle of the "Mike drama". Xx**

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To say it has been a rough couple of days would be an understatement for the current situation and atmosphere at the firm. She has been dealing with the judgmental looks of people, endless amount of pissed clients who were ready to change the law firm and at last- the fight she was battling within herself was draining her. She was not a woman of many mistakes. In fact, in her adulthood she rarely let herself wonder, do something spontaneously and every single one of her moves, changes she planned carefully.

Except there was this one weakness she had and although she had forgiven Harvey a long time ago for hiring Mike, although it all became a part of her, her flaw- there she was now. On the roof, slowly breathing in and out, enjoying the silence that came with the height of it and letting herself think for a second that things maybe end up being fine again soon.

She heard steps coming from the other side of the roof, the entrance only a few people knew about and after all these years even Jessica knew it was Donna. She closed her eyes, she wasn't ready to face people. "Donna now is not a good time" she said, her voice steady and she regained her posture as she spoke.

Donna nodded and walked over to the fence and just stood next to Jessica, her breathing was heavy and every once in a while her mouth opened and closed, as if for the first time in her life she had no idea what to say that would be enough. Then Jessica looked at her, searching for an explanation.

"I was in need of being near someone who is stronger than me right now" Donna explained and Jessica nodded "of someone who has even more in stake then me." She added. Jessica exhaled "Donna at this moment there is not really much I can say that would help because I have no idea how to clean up this mess myself." Donna nodded. "Harvey, he" she started but wasn't able to finish. Jessica looked over her shoulder, seeing Donna was near tears and that caught her completely of guard because she was never used to seeing her like that, after all- Donna was a super woman. "He said something to me a few months ago and I know its selfish of me to think about that right now but I can´t help but fear the fact that we might never get to talk about it because if this thing ends badly" but before she had a chance to finish, Jessica said, still looking away "He told you he loved you."

That came as a complete surprise for Donna because not only did Jessica say exactly what Donna was talking about, she didn't even present it as a question, it was a statement. "How did you" she started but Jessica cut her off again "If you are about to ask me how did I know then you are kidding yourself just as much as Harvey." She explained, her eyes still fixated on a building far away.

"He did and we screwed it up." Donna exhaled "and I am so sorry for bringing it up right now, this is not a time for me. You have enough on your mind" she added, realization of how she shouldn't be burdening Jessica with yet another problem caused by Harvey hitting her as she spoke. She turned around to walk away but Jessica called her name.

"You know I always searched for good things in every problem presented at me, I grabbed it with my hands and tore it open and found that one drop of possibility for me to learn something of it, and I always did. Then as a managing partner I started facing these huge issues daily and I didn't have enough time to find that one good thing in every case when there were so many and Harvey became that drop for me. Because I kept leaning on him and even though he pisses me of so much all the goddamn time I always knew I could count on him when things went to shit" she explained, Donna now standing next to her again, carefully listening as Jessica spoke.

"Then this happened a few days ago and all of a sudden I thought about where to find that now, because I thought he was done and will now completely lose his shit. Then he came to my office, he said he was sorry and from that moment on all I have seen is him fighting this thing all day, every day and all night every night. Quite frankly I worry more about his health right now than this case" she continued, a laugh escaping her lips.

"and then I was here yesterday too and this thought came across my mind how you were that to Harvey all these years. Don't get me wrong you were that on a much bigger and wider level but it all started as the same thing and for about 5 minutes I kept thinking how the hell Harvey got through losing you" and Donna swallowed, feeling guilty but Jessica picked up on that. "I am not finished." She said, Donna looking at her curiously.

"And then I realized I should be praising you and not him. Harvey got his name on the door, he got everything that came with it- money, the right amount of fame amongst the important people in the law world, women and every other form of luxury that came with it and don't get me wrong- I know Harvey has always appreciated you on some level and he was always good with you but you didn't get shit out of this. You were his _drop of happiness and hope and strength_ and you walked away with nothing but a slap on the wrist." Jessica finished.

"Soo Donna to say to me right now that you need to be near someone who is stronger than you and has more in this than you is just stupid because you hold this place together just as much as I do and you never got a shiny prize or a name on the wall for it." She added. Donna had tears in her eyes, ones she couldn't really quite place or explain because tears were always a sign of weakness or sadness for her but this felt totally different.

"I don't know what to say" was the only sentence she could form, grateful and full of admiration for the strong woman standing next to her. "Say that you will fight for what is in your heart Donna. Harvey might be fighting his ass off for this case but he is figthing an even bigger batle right now- because he knows how he loves you now, in the middle of this mess I saw him realize." Jessica said, now looking at Donna "Because if there is one good thing that comes with a mess like this- it makes you see other aspects of your life more clearly. Just like crying washes your eyes, one mess makes you want to solve another."

"I don't know if we both want the same thing anymore" Donna whispered then. Jessica shook her head, a smile on her face "If there is one thing I have always known about Harvey is that he wanted you even when he thought he didn't and believe me, if you asked him right now what is his last thought before he falls asleep and his first one when he wakes up in the middle of all of this- getting Mike out of trouble still wouldn´t be his answer." And Donna smiled, not quite believing her because things like that still felt surreal and too good to be true.

"Because sometimes you just have to ask and ask again and again until you get your answer as clear as a day, face to face and there is no confusion left and for the past 12 years you guys kept getting each other without really having to answer any question there ever was but you screwed up what was most important somewhere along the way." She added. Donna nodded because Jessica summed up their relationship better than she ever could.

"Once this Mike mess ends I am going to take a very long vacation" Jessica started talking again, surprising Donna for about a millionth time today "and I think Harvey should take one too and when he comes to ask you to go with him, promise me you will consider and not bail out like he did when you were the one asking questions" she finished, looking at Donna. "At this point I am not so sure I will have anything to consider" she said, her voice full of pain although to herself she seemed pretty numb. "There is always stuff to consider with you two" Jessica said, putting her hand on Donnas shoulder.

"Thank you for coming up here to check on me" she added, before walking away.

Donna came up here to talk about problem and she ended up discussing another. Just like Jessica said, somewhere along this Mike mess she ended up on the roof with a friend who saw things completely different than she and Donna finally walked away with a sense that she had clarity of her intensions. She hopped that now, things will finally conspire with her and Harvey and they will be able to make it happen. To move forward on the same page.

Because thanks to Jessica- someone who always knew what she wanted and moved in the direction to make it happen she finally did too and that's what clarity is all about. Knowing exactly what or who you want and going for it.

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 **Hope you enjoyed this and don't forget to leave a review. Thank you so much for reading!**

 **-A xxx**


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